(Guaynabo, PR) On the heels of another tremendously scary and nearly fatal accident, the Puerto Rico Police Department has officially given up. On the condition of anonymity a police officer who was on the scene of the devastating crash that closed PR-177 said,
"Brother, these people are just plain nuts. There is no containing them. It's gotten to the point were when people get behind the wheel of their automobile, they are transformed into psychopathic maniacs willing to do anything to save just a few seconds or pass just a few cars."In an official statement recently released from the Puerto Rico Police Department, they have officially given up trying to enforce the traffic laws. The police department is declaring Puerto Rico as a "Death Race" where it is everyone for themselves. Quickly dubbed on the Internet as "Death Race 2008 - Puerto Rico," this new policy was received happily by local drivers.
In a surprising move Governor Anibal Acevedo Vila registered a trademark on the phrase "Death Race 2008 - Puerto Rico" and has contacted Rock Star Games, makers of the insanely popular "Gran Theft Auto" series of video games. In a quick statement from the Governor's mansion, Acevedo Vila commented,
"We think this represents an excellent tourism opportunity. I have asked Terestella González to create anew campaign around our new slogan: Explore beyond the shore? Screw that! Just try and stay alive!" "With the potential for a video game tie-in to the new marketing campaign, the Puerto Rico Tourism Company is rebranding Puerto Rico once again, this time embracing the island's pirate heritage and invoking a skull and cross bones on top of a post apocalyptic urban background, sometimes referred to as Santurce.