Ah yes my friends, Uncle Sam is whipping out a treat. So get in line it's for some suckling. Yesterday, the U.S Treasury approved A $1.282 BILLION economic stimulus payment to Puerto Rico. How sweet is that?
Well while the glorious rush of blood is still fresh in my head, I'm going to throw out some ideas, and I hope that since each of you will also be delirious from a similar rush, we can all go crazy in a wild adrenaline crazed orgy of green, green backs that is. So before the buzz starts to wane here goes:
- I recommend printing on the back of all those U.S. Treasury checks the following statement:
"I understand, that by signing below I recognize that I am the grateful benefactor of the generous citizens and government of the United States of America. As such, I pledge my allegiance to the country for which it stands and testify that Puerto Rico is forever indebted to the United States for its contribution."
- Let's put that $1.3 billion to good collective use! I recommend creating a venture capital fund with the money and then funding 13,000 new ventures with $100,000. This would create a million new jobs, and grow the island by 25%. No really, literally, the island would actually grow to be 125 miles by 37.5 miles. So in anticipation of everyone agreeing with me and donating their windfall, instead of rushing to Macy's and buying some underwear, I've created a bank account in Doral. To transfer your donation, please use account number: M0NK3Y5FLY0UTMYA55.
- Well, if you're not down with that last one, and really who wouldn't be, but just in case. Why not take 20% of the total amount you receive and give it to a local not-for-profit that is dedicated to make a difference in Puerto Rico? Then take the remaining 80% and deposit in your savings account. If you've never heard of this type of account ask your local bank. They actually have an account where you can SAVE money. I know, weird!
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